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Light of my life. July 27, 2008

Posted by phledge in family, fun, phlegm.
2 comments

Bug is my six-year old niece, having celebrated the occasion of her birthday on Friday. I have two stories to share about her that will illustrate just how fucking cool she is.

Story #1:  Several cousins, including Bug, are jumping on my dad’s ~14-foot trampoline in his backyard.  He is watching them, muttering to the other adults, “Someone’s gonna get hurt out there…someone’s gonna fall…whup, there goes one.”  And so on.  Bug is the third to fall, and exasperated she exclaims, “Oh, GRAVITY!”

What kind of six-year old blames her misstep on a (correctly associated) force of nature?

Story #2:  Bug announces to her mother, “I really want to take care of animals and keep them from getting hurt, so I think I will become a vegetarian.”  My sister says, “You mean you want to be a veterinarian?”  Bug rolls her eyes and says, “Well, yeah, that too, but I want to stop eating meat.”

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The scariest thing. June 21, 2008

Posted by phledge in black bile, family, fat, health.
13 comments

I can’t eat.

I admit freely that I eat more when I am stressed out; personally I’m inclined to believe that this is a function of a very perky adrenal output, which biochemically stimulates appetite, but I’m not in the mood to fight for why I am who I am.  It could just be that I, in the immortal words of Po the Kung Fu Panda, eat when I’m upset.  But this time is different. (more…)

My reliable support system. June 20, 2008

Posted by phledge in black bile, family, fat, feminism.
60 comments

I’m in a tailspin, y’all.

I just confirmed on Wednesday that my husband has been cheating on me, in a manner of speaking.  I now know that he has at least engaged in phone sex with a coworker, kissed her, fondled her, and expressed the sense that she understands him in a way I cannot because they are both survivors of sexual abuse.  I had my suspicions beginning a few months ago that something was amiss between us, and then a few weeks ago it amplified.  Last week I had no doubt that there was a huge problem, and this week I did the footwork to get a clear picture of what has happened.  I’ve done some snuffling around the ‘toob for support for infidelity, but I need to tell my story and hopefully someone here can assure me that I’m not crazy. (more…)

The end. June 13, 2008

Posted by phledge in black bile, blood, family, fat, feminism, fun, health, medical school, phlegm, yellow bile.
9 comments

This is a difficult decision for me, but I am certain it is the right one.  Effective 1 August 2008 this blog will be sacrificed to the Toob Gods.  I’ve discovered that I spend a great deal more time online than I would like, in general, and way more time thinking and worrying and prepping for this blog, specifically.  I am definitely available by email (see “Comment Policy/Contact Me”) and would love to hear from my, erm, fans.  The blogroll is a good place to start looking if you want to find something else sort of like me that contains some fun ranting and hearty thinking, but I just can’t do it anymore.  It hasn’t remotely been what I expected—no fault of anyone’s—and I can’t put the energy into something that isn’t bringing me joy.  Peace out, y’all.

Why I don’t celebrate Mother’s Day. May 11, 2008

Posted by phledge in black bile, family, fat, medical school, yellow bile.
13 comments

If there is one way I believe myself to be a lesser, evil being, it is the way I feel about my mother, who died in 2001.  It’s complicated, and contradictory, and changes depending on what I’m doing, but by and large I did not have much patience or respect for her.  I live much of my life focused on not becoming her (who doesn’t?) but since this blog has pretty much become my therapy I’ll explain why: (more…)

Alright, I have to share this with you. May 7, 2008

Posted by phledge in blood, family, feminism, paganism.
1 comment so far

Mr Phledge has been reading a lot about global warming and the unavoidable energy crisis and maybe we’re just gonna go live on a farm and buy a lot of guns type reading.  We’re lying in bed last night, chatting about how in the bloody hell we can turn this Titanic around, how the NASCAR crowd and people like my dad would willingly submit to a concept that asked them to walk to work or compost, and I (not entirely in jest) said, “Revolution.  It’s gotta be a full-fledged revolution, overturning the patriarchal dominance/submission paradigm because that’s what allows us to be Us versus Them.  Fucking patriarchy.”

A pause from the other side of the bed, then, softly, “Yes, dear.”

Ladies and gentlemen, charity begins at home.

Vajayjay? Honestly? May 1, 2008

Posted by phledge in family, fat, feminism, medical school, yellow bile.
14 comments

I’m ashamed to say that, as I alluded to in a comment, I am indeed not very good at confrontation.  Upon reading SM’s brilliant analysis of what words can do, I let my sister get away with it. And this is the one to whom I’m closest, the one with whom I can talk all kinds of issues and still feel safe and loved (more…)

How the FLDS brings a lot of my concerns together. April 20, 2008

Posted by phledge in family, feminism, phlegm.
3 comments

First and foremost, there’s always more than one side to a story. See, today I was talking to someone at my church who has a friend who has a friend in the FLDS community (small world, non?) and he said that there are actually “normal” people in that group who do not practice polygamy and are actually devastated that their children have been taken from them. I’m not sure I understand how they can be involved in a community whose religious beliefs mandate polygamy and not actually engage in it, but meh. Not my pig, not my farm. (more…)

Try-athletes. April 12, 2008

Posted by phledge in family, fat, fun, health, phlegm.
11 comments

Today I got up before Maude’s own sunrise to go with my in-betweenie sister (K) and her roommate for their female-only triathlon.  Let me note that I decided to wear my “I am Kate Harding” t-shirt (hoping I’d see a fellow Shapeling, or at least get questions that led people to FA), and then freaked out because I didn’t shower this morning and my hair was a mess and in essence I was not a cute fattie and…wait a second, hello, was that a point I just missed?  :headsmack:  Okay, so I went to this event and, heh, slept in the car for the first two and a half hours.  I woke up at about 8:45 and, since K said she expected to be across the finish line at around 9:30, I had the opportunity to go grab a cup of coffee at the only coffee place open in this faux Italian village shopping center resort place thingy:  Starbucks.

I’m noticing at this point that my writing is becoming loose and flowy, but please try to bear with me while I work out this brain problem.  I have been such a phenomenal space cadet lately, it hurts. (more…)

Privilege. March 5, 2008

Posted by phledge in family, fat, health, medical school, osteopathy, paganism, phlegm.
2 comments

I’ve recently had several experiences that all have a common theme, and I wonder why. On a recent thread at Kate’s House of Terrorist Donuts I realized that I am at once coming from a place of privilege and coming from a place of minority. I’ve read some awesome posts all over the place about different types of privilege, and I’ve been involved in some activities at school that are trying to raise consciousness as well. So here’s a little bit about my story. (more…)