A FoBT post. March 2, 2008Posted by phledge in black bile, fat, health.
Tags: fat, health, medical school
First, for those of you who are unawares, Kate Harding (the real one) wrote a phenomenal post about the ways in which we wish our lives would be automatically, magically changed just by becoming a size six! The Fantasy of Being Thin (FoBT) is a powerful spell we cast when we think that all of our negative aspects are a result of being fat, and it keeps us tied to the desperate act of dieting and disordered behaviors in the quest to become smaller. If you haven’t read it, I cannot recommend it strongly enough.
But if you already have, then you will understand what I am going to say: my ankles are swollen like nobody’s business. Like huge, skin-stretching, +3 pitting cankles. They are uncomfortable and damn unattractive in my eyes. They come and go on a day-to-day basis and I know that if I had a) worn sneakers instead of flip flops, b) not stayed on my feet all day, and c) worn the lovely support hose that help with it, I would not be complaining like this. My FoBT is that if I were thin I wouldn’t get cankles. This is probably not true at all and I’m not willing to buy a ticket to Self-Flagellation Central in order to find out, but, man, it’s amazing what happens to my legs when I’m stuck on my feet, or sitting in a chair for eight hours or more a day with my eyes glued to a laptop screen studying gastrointestinal viruses or ECG interpretations. My doctor told me rather noncommittally that it might help to get a little more exercise but even that wasn’t a total guarantee.
I will post eventually about how it feels to be an unhealthy medical student, but right now I’m going to go put my feet up. Provided they don’t pop before I get out of this chair.