Comments on: Why I don’t celebrate Mother’s Day.

By: Giselle

Giselle — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 04:48:27 +0000

Phledge, I think it justifies your not celebrating Mothers Day.. But being the more sensible one, I think even if it is very VERY hard to forgive her, you could try to just accept that as what she was and try to forgive it and let your anger towards her relent.. Because.. When you stay angry with someone, it occupies your heart and mind atleast a tiny space of it.. and it is never going to vanish just all of a sudden.. So, a part of us remains bitter.. I dont think you would want that.. You are much more sensible! and it is possible for you to have a happy life..
and “Frankly, I think Mother’s Day should be more of a “strong woman of authority you can look up to” Day. A woman who has been a part of your life to whom you can look up with gratitude for her advice, encouragement, and love. And that doesn’t have to be (and sometimes is flat-out not) one’s mother” is true. I agree with you.. Someone who has been a ” mother” to you..

http://4mgiselle.wordpress.com

By: BigLiberty

BigLiberty — Mon, 12 May 2008 15:40:03 +0000

((((((((Phledge)))))))))

I’m so glad you shared this. My DF’s kids are going through something similar with their mom, and we’re desperately trying to get custody. I might have them read this, so they know they aren’t alone. They also had a really, really difficult time with Mother’s Day this year.

Frankly, I think Mother’s Day should be more of a “strong woman of authority you can look up to” Day. A woman who has been a part of your life to whom you can look up with gratitude for her advice, encouragement, and love. And that doesn’t have to be (and sometimes is flat-out not) one’s mother.

By: Regina Tyyska

Regina Tyyska — Mon, 12 May 2008 04:26:29 +0000

Thank u for your raw words about your mother. It seems the world is full of moms like this, myself included. Today, I know she was bipolar w/ a dash of schizophrenia thrown in for good measure. Rage was her middle name. It took me years of journaling and a little bit of therapy to put my relationship with my mother in its proper place. Now that she’s gone (8 years now) I still feel a sadness for what should have been. I love your spirit, candor, and willingness to share. I’ll be following your blog religiously.

By: wellroundedtype2

wellroundedtype2 — Mon, 12 May 2008 03:02:56 +0000

Thank you for letting this out into the world.
Sometimes, people turn out wonderfully in spite of neglect and abuse, and you are one of those people.
I am sorry for what you and your siblings endured.
While you may feel you were patient with your mom (and who could have been?), you contain a tremendous amount of compassion for people who grew up in abusive and neglectful situations that will make you a fantastic doctor.

By: Buttercup

Buttercup — Mon, 12 May 2008 02:45:16 +0000

This does not make you an evil, lesser being. It makes you a survivor, and for that I congratulate you.

By: Robotitron

Robotitron — Mon, 12 May 2008 02:00:14 +0000

Phledge, thank you for sharing this. I am sorry that you suffered so much, and that your mom suffered so much too. The best thing we can do is to break cycles, and I think you’re well on the way to doing so.

By: phledge

phledge — Mon, 12 May 2008 01:12:02 +0000

Thanks to all of you for your comments. To tell the truth I’m a little surprised at the ferocity of my emotions at writing this. I am, however, pleasantly more surprised at the ferocity of the compassion and heartfelt care that comes from the people who frequent my blog. Thank you again.

By: Harriet

Harriet — Mon, 12 May 2008 01:02:41 +0000

Phledge, I can relate. My mother was and still is manipulative, abusive, and incapable of being a grownup. Sometimes I feel compassion for her. Sometimes I feel rage. Either way I stay the hell away from her, and feel guilty and miserable and lonely for doing it. But it’s self preservation.

I hope you find some peace with this eventually.

By: sweetmachine

sweetmachine — Sun, 11 May 2008 23:55:34 +0000

(((Phledge)))

I’m so sorry. I hope that writing about this so honestly feels powerful to you; it’s certainly powerful to read.

By: Twistie

Twistie — Sun, 11 May 2008 23:43:46 +0000

(hugs Phledge tight)

I’m so, so sorry you – and she – suffered that life. Getting the anger out and dealing with it is good. It’s healthy. And it will probably take more than one such purge. If you need to write about this again, we’ll still be here for you.

Take care of yourself.